Dear Last First- About My Defenses

Dear Last First,

I’m sure you have noticed that I am very guarded. I like to think that I keep my heart in an ivory tower surrounded by a moat behind an impossibly high wall. Experience with previous first has thought me extreme caution.

Be patient with me when my sarcasm is the first thing I respond with. Be kind when I open up. Be honest in your interest. Be open with me and I’ll be the same with you. Share with me your ups and downs so we can learn how we’ll be when times are rough.

I find that I am afraid at the thought of letting someone in and being taken advantage of.

Getting me to let my guard down is not an impossible task. If you are open and willing to work to get to know me this could be great. I promise you won’t have to scale the wall or fight dragons. I’ll climb down the tower stairs, lower the drawbridge and open the gates to let you in.

Hopefully, all my defenses don’t scare you away.

Be safe. I can’t wait to meet you!

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SMILE- A Short Story

“Honestly, it’s probably one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. ”

The sound of his voice droned on but she didn’t hear very many of the words after these. Leaving her had been one of the best decisions of his life? She was floored. Intellectually she understood that he was referring to accepting the job offer nearly eight hundred miles away from her but that didn’t change how she felt. How could he continue speaking? Did he not see how he was tearing all the band aids from her nearly healed heart? The very same heart she could feel pulling itself up through her throat as if it wished to dive to its destruction from her lips to the cold concrete beneath her feet. She swallowed as she tried to focus on his words.

“So having said all that, what do you say? How about it?”

Before she could admit that she hadn’t heard a single word he’d said the sun beamed across his face as if asking that she stop to really look at him. The smile that hadcouple crept onto his face fascinated her. It always had. With no forethought on her part, she found that she was smiling right back at him. This is how he always got to her. Every time.

“So?” He asked again.

As she shook herself out of her reverie she finally looked down  at his hands. She was speechless and knew she should have been paying attention to his words. Tears filled her eyes with complete disregard for her mascara. Her heart ran back into her chest and fell to her feet. As she looked at his smile she understood that there was only answer that would keep that look on his face.

“Yes,” she replied.